Vauen Auenland - The Shire

Vauen Auenland – The Shire – is one of these tobaccos making me regret that I decided to base my reviews on more than a single bowl. You will get an intense aromatic that was probably developed for non-pipe smokers (paradox) and fans of the movie series, of course. After trying Auenland – The Shire they will most likely stay non-pipe smokers. The tin note is very sweet peach ice tea, not home made, but the cheap kind containing plenty of artificial sweetener. The tobaccos presented in mixed ribbon cut feel moist and spongy.

Other than that, the presentation is done well and filling the pipe is easy. Without prior drying, first light was not easy. Drying out a fresh tobacco to proper moisture is not an issue for most of us, quite normal in fact, but I expected the mixture to be ready according the target group addressed.

The taste is predominantly the intense artificial peach ice tea, accompanied by a sour, slightly bitter note (orange?). Taste of tobacco was not to be found, more like flavored hot air. If you apply a regular draw that will fit any pure VA for it not to bite, this one will collapse to an evil sour, bitter and bity horror. As a rule I don’t throw tobacco away, but this one is will. I recommend using a filter with it or anything providing a minimum amount of protection.

Fresh blend has sweet fruity aroma from toping after opening. Difficult to recognize which fruit. It was very artificial for me. Background aroma is vanilla and chocolate. (from cavendisch I suppose) Tobacco need a time to dry. Leave significant moisture and dottle. Aroma sublimate quickly after lighting. Than there is no taste inside of bowl, just warm air. (ok, little vanilla aftertaste remains) It needs several relights. No tongue bites occurs.

Tin note of peaches in syrup and oranges. Tobacco is a ribbon cut of brown, black and tan. Moisture content is ok. Some pipe smokers will want to dry it a bit. Burns moderate with a few relights. The strength is mild and nic is mild. Flavoring is medium to strong, with notes of peach and orange. Flavoring overrides tobacco. Taste is mild to medium and moderately consistent, with notes of semi-sweet tart peaches, sugar, tangy orange, zesty citrus peels, acidic, bitter wood, earth, a mild stone fruit background note, and a peppery retro. Flavoring is leading with Cavendish, Burley and Virginia supporting. Room note is pleasant, and aftertaste is good.

Lo! What's that I see ahead? A green, misty valley. What's that I hear? The distant trickling of water, a shady brook. After trudging through miles of barren, dry land, this scene was a sight to behold. With an almost empty canteen, and a bone dry clay pipe in my back pocket, I marched on, into the mysterious verdant valley. I had images of elves racing about my feet as I stepped to—the little rascals were pulling at my pant leg and knocking my boots with their tiny fists. Call me, Gulliver.

My nerves tingled as I walked through the mist. The land was green, with tall emerald grass, and low dark trees everywhere I looked. But, wait! What's that I see in the distant meadow? A gray colored object, just off the trail. Why, it's a stone slab, a table. Reminiscent of something you'd see on the Plains of Salisbury. An archaic object, to be sure.

As I approached, an object came into focus. There, sitting atop the roughly hewn slab was a tin—a tin of tobacco! I couldn't believe my good fortune. My greedy hand grasped onto the tin, but it wouldn't budge. No matter what I did, I couldn't doff the bloody thing. While pondering what to do, something quite unexpected happened. A tall bearded man attired in animal skins walked out from behind a nearby tree! He blew into the hollowed out horn of an auroch, the grunting, choppy moan of his horn sent shivers down my spine.

"I am Sigismund! Velcome to Auenland. Plees place twelf euro on zee palm of mine hand and zee tobacco vill be yours!"

My ice cold pipe needed kindling, so I couldn't help but dig deep. I gave the man exactly twelve euros. As I coated his hand with silver, a wide toothy grin broke out on his face. He suddenly closed his hand tight over the money, turned around, and beat a hasty retreat into the nearby woods, never to be seen again.

So, there I was, alone in Auenland, with an unexpected tin of pipe baccy. This time, my hand plucked the tin off the table. I pried open the tin and, giddy as a teenager, stuffed my nose directly in. The rose was unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was an odd, mysterious scent; what was it? It tickled my menthol detector, first off. Just a hint. But, what else? Man, I've been smoking a pipe for many a year, and I've come across nothing like this before. The scent of this blend is heady, perfumey, sweet, and frankly, obnoxious. Clearly an aromatic. The colors of the tobacco ran the gamut and it was spongey to the touch.

Well, I threw caution to the moist Auenlandian wind and fired up a bowl. One puff, and my mouth went completely dry. A thick, toxic cloud of smoke hung in the air. What, in God's name, is in this weed? The taste was horridly interesting. Wait. What's that on my tongue? A hot poker? A needle, a pin? I slowed my cadence, it improved. But, then, Sigismund's smile popped into my head. His smile quickly turned into a laugh. A demonic, red-faced, joke of a laugh!

In a panic, my head began to spin. I smashed my pipe onto the stone table. Clay shards and red hot ash flew every which way. I dropped the tin aside and ran, bypassing the clear cold stream on my way out of the valley.

You know, just because your pipe is empty, it doesn't mean you have to stuff it with just any old thing. Sometimes, just sometimes, keep your dice safely tucked away and just walk on.

Keep on pipin'

I was very disappointed in this blend. I liked the flavor pairing used citrus and peach. The flavor combo was good at first, though it started to taste a little artificial as I smoked. The tobacco itself just didn't seem to be great quality; it was bitey and tasteless. I get the impression it was covered up by heavy flavoring, and then they slapped a LotR name on it to get it sold. Maybe some people will enjoy it, but it just didn't work for me.